Open relationships are challenging, confusing, and messy (even at the best of times). If you’re wanting support on how to find your way in the worlds of polyamory, relationship anarchy, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy, the coaching I offer can help you make sense of it all.
With a training in intimacy counselling, holistic peer counselling, and somatics, I work from a trauma-informed basis and seek to empower you in your journey to embodied, authentic, joyful and loving relationships.
Please read on to discover if I am the right coach for you!
Who is Relationship Coaching For?
I specialise in working with queer and questioning humans — and the people who love them — who are curious about or already practicing consensual non-monogamy, with a focus on Self-Partnership, Solo Polyamory, Relationship Anarchy, and Trauma Informed practices.
My clients are social misfits, cultural rebels, who are seeking support on dating and relating in honest non-monogamous relationship configurations. I work with individuals, rather than couples, but can work with all parties in a relationship individually. I focus on working with people exploring polyamory and relationship anarchy.
I am an especially good fit for individuals who are exploring solo polyamory, people who are embarking into non-monogamy after the end of a long term monogamous relationship, and individuals who live with disabilities, long term illness (such as Long Covid, ME/CFS), and hold any other marginalised or minoritised identities (eg BIPOC, Mixed Ethnicity, Immigrant, Trans, Trauma survivors).
Personal relationship coaching can enhance your self relationship as well as the relationships you share with others.
Coaching is different from counselling and is definitely not the same as therapy: while counselling and therapy help to integrate past experiences into the present, I see coaching as what helps you move forward from the present, and into living and loving joyfully.
The people who enjoy working with me as their coach are usually folks who have enjoyed or resonate with the works of Betty Martin, Dr Kim Tallbear, Dr Meg-John Barker, Gabor Mate, Brene Brown, and Peter Levine. Within the non-monogamous world, my work aligns with the work of Marcia B, Ro Moed, Elizabeth Cunningham, Libby Sinback, Marie Thouin, Annie Undone, and Dr Alex Iantaffi.
I am trans-affirming, feminist, kink-friendly, and anti-racist.
Who is Relationship Coaching not for?
Relationship coaching is not helpful or effective when a relationship is in a state of emergency. If you are actively experiencing debilitating panic, paralysing anxiety, or find your brain spinning out constantly, then I encourage you to first seek out the support of a qualified therapist or counsellor.
The relationship coaching I offer is not a substitute for therapy and counselling.
I do not work with people seeking life-long monogamy, and I’m not a great fit for people who are only interested in exploring swinging connections without forming emotional relationships.
I am not the right coach for people who enjoy Joe Rogan, Aubrey Marcus, Teal Swan, Kelly Brogan, or Jordan Peterson.
The Importance of Choosing The Right Coach For You
If you’re here you’re probably looking at various options for coaching to support your polyamory journey. Please, do your due diligence to research who a coach is: how much experience do they have of non-monogamy, and what are their qualifications for offering advice to others about non-monogamy?
The support you receive from someone who writes a blog or creates content on social media but has never coached non-monogamous individuals is going to be very different from somebody who has trained in the realms of mental health and wellness and has been working directly with diverse polyamorous styles amongst their clientele for many years. Every coach also carries their own biases, which can include things like couple-centricity, ableism, and even some internalised racism at times. And that’s not to dismiss the value of any of the work that is out there — because every one offering polyamory support (whether it’s peer coaching, professional coaching, or polyam-affirming therapy) is doing needed and brave work — but it’s worth being discerning to find the right kind of support for you, that meets you where you are at in your own journey and (hopefully) helps you step into greater joy and ease within your non-monogamy.
What to Expect with Coaching
With coaching, you are in the driver’s seat. The benefits you gain will depend on how you engage with this work, and your commitment to show up. It is not always easy, and sometimes I might challenge you to look at things that might get uncomfortable. It is absolutely okay to be uncomfortable, and I encourage you to be messy, imperfect, and honest (with yourself) about what your experiences are! Through many years of experience I have found that we grow when we lean in to those edgy, uncomfortable places, and look at what they want to teach us about ourselves, and our relationship with others.
When we first meet I’ll ask you a bit about your relationship history and what you’d like to work on. I’ll offer reflections, insights, and perspectives. I might challenge you with re-framing your situation or experience, and I’ll suggest some action steps you could take. These could look like things you do by yourself, conversations to have with a partner, or activities to explore. Sometimes, we’ll dive into specific skills work (like how to have courageous conversations, or recognising somatic boundaries). Our sessions might also include some somatic work where I invite you to notice the physical responses that accompany your psychological state and emotional experience.
The first session you have with me is 75 minutes, but subsequent sessions can be 45 or 60 minutes, depending on how much you want to cover or how long it’s been since our last session. The frequency of coaching is totally up to you: some folks find they like to have several sessions in a short time period when they are going through particularly challenging situations. Others find that they like to have coaching sessions every-so-often, and might book every couple of months, or maybe a few times a year. It’s all about what feels best for you and what gives you the space and time to integrate the work into your life.
Fees
I offer sliding scales rates: those who are able to pay more help me to offset my costs and keep the options for low income and hardship rates accessible to those who need them.
I accept payments via paypal or etransfer. For US and international clients I charge in US Dollars, for Canadian (domestic) clients, I charge in Canadian Dollars + 5% GST.
2024 rates:
Regular Rate: $180/hr
$225 for 75 min; $135 for 45 min
Coaching Packages (full fee only)
$440 for 1×75 min, 2x 45 min (savings of $55)
$355 for 3×45 min (savings of $50)
NEW: Somatic Experiencing Package of 3 x 60 min Somatics sessions $490 (savings of $50)
Low Income: $120/hr
(for anyone whose income is reduced)
$150 for 75 min; $90 for 45 min
Student/Hardship: $70/hr
(for students enrolled in college/university or similar, anyone on disability/income assistance, or whose income is below the threshold of living wage in their area)
$87.50 for 75 min; $52.50 for 45 min
Clients who have taken the six-week Monogamy Detox Course receive a 15% discount on whichever tier rate they pay at. This discount cannot be applied to coaching packages.
If you want to do coaching with a partner, please book individual one-on-one sessions first; I do not see partners together as new clients unless we have had individual sessions.
Please ensure appointments are booked accurately: do not book an appointment for someone else under your email, as I send out important information to new coaching clients.
Ready to book?
Click the button below to visit my scheduler and make an appointment!
If you have more questions, please contact me here.
The Monogamy Detox
6-week online, life-time access workshop, runs every spring & fall.
Honest Non Monogamy
Five Month Beginner's Course on the Essentials for Non Monogamy
Coaching
Start Your Radical Relationship Journey Today
For Helping Professionals
Resources for professionals working with clients practicing Consensual Non Monogamy
Somatic Experiencing
Trauma-Informed Work based on mind-body integration practices
The Blog
Articles on Radical Relating
Insight Timer
Access Meditations for supporting your Non-Monogamy Journey
Workshops
Online and In Person Workshops