Somatics is a field of practice that has been expanding and gaining in popularity in recent years. Maybe you’ve heard someone talk about somatics in terms of movement, or trauma work, but don’t really know what it means. Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “the body keeps the score” and found yourself exclaiming, Could it please not?!
Somatic Experiencing
Somatic Experiencing is a therapeutic model, originally developed by Peter Levine, for understanding and working with the nervous system. In Somatic Experiencing (SE for short), trauma is recognised as something that originates in the response the nervous system has to an event (or series of events), and not inherent to the event itself. We see this evidenced by studies of intense events, and see that multiple people can live through the same event and have vastly different experiences of trauma related to the event.
Trauma can be the consequence of a disruption of connection: either between individuals, or between the Self and what some might term Spirit. Trauma results in a struggle to be present to the ‘here and now’, as our nervous systems can feel ‘stuck’ in a response from the past.
Somatic Experiencing aims to support your nervous system to have more access to the here and now, through nourishing nervous system capacity. There are a variety of ways we might do this, but at the foundation is an honoring that each individual has a natural draw towards ease. Through cultivating a space of warmth, openness, creativity, empathy, safety, curiosity, and playfullness, an SE practitioner can help an SE client move closer towards that ease, and feel more capacity to be present to the ‘here and now’.
SE isn’t about never being activated or feeling like our metaphorical feathers are being ruffled; rather, it’s about working towards understanding our own selves at a deeper level, and experiencing the ability to navigate through states of grounding, activation, and overwhelm, without getting stuck in any single one of them.
Using sensory stimuli, such as things you might see, hear, smell, touch, or taste in your space, we will support your nervous system to ‘orient’ to an experience of ease, which both grounds and prepares your nervous system for more exploration. Where our session goes after that will depend on any intention you have, or anything that comes up in the moment. SE sessions may focus on exploring sensations of affirmation and support, and they may touch on memories of pain and hurt that have left an impact in your nervous system. I may ask you about the sensations of an experience, or about the images that a feeling evokes. I might offer you reflections about what I notice shifting in you as you describe your experience, and we may talk about your emotions or the stories you hold about these sensations too.
At all times, you retain the right to decline any invitations to exploration that you are offered.
SE work can feel gentle, yet profound. Plan to give yourself some rest time after our session, as working with the nervous system can take a lot of energy!”
Somatics and Non Monogamy
I hold in my heart a belief that Somatics are the “missing ingredient” in the practice of health non-monogamy.
Somatics offers us tools thru which to explore the trauma we have experienced through the loss of relationship, and to move towards healing in our relationships.
In non-monogamy, where we experience the stimulation of multiple relationships (through having multiple partners and their partners), there can be a tendency to push or rush through to be able to maintain our engagement with everyone in our anarcule — and slowing down can feel scary, because in slowing down we feel more. More of the good things, and more of the uncomfortable things too.
I am finding that Somatic Experiencing can be a wonderful way to explore things like: jealousy/catastrophising reactions and responses to a partner going on dates with others; patterns of people-pleasing/ignoring one’s own capacity/limits; and the ways you orient to safety, security, and stability in your non-monogamous relationships.
And so, I’m excited to let you know that I am starting to offer Somatic Experiencing as part of the work we can do together!
Somatic Experiencing (SE) isn’t the same as coaching, nor is it the same as traditional talk therapy: in an SE session we begin by supporting your nervous system to be nourished and resourced, and you’re invited to notice the sensations, images, emotions, and internal changes you experience as we talk about something that may have been challenging.
Somatic Experiencing can sometimes feel like we’re doing very little, but working with the nervous system we can actually do a LOT.
In October 2024 I completed my Intermediate year of training as a practitioner of Somatic Experiencing, through Somatic Experiencing International, building on my existing training in Bodywork, Somatic Movement, and Trauma Informed Practices.
I am currently offering Somatic Experiencing only as part of my coaching work with existing clients. Please click here to learn more about my coaching work.
The Monogamy Detox
6-week online, life-time access workshop, runs every spring & fall.
Honest Non Monogamy
Five Month Beginner's Course on the Essentials for Non Monogamy
Coaching
Start Your Radical Relationship Journey Today
For Helping Professionals
Resources for professionals working with clients practicing Consensual Non Monogamy
Somatic Experiencing
Trauma-Informed Work based on mind-body integration practices
The Blog
Articles on Radical Relating
Insight Timer
Access Meditations for supporting your Non-Monogamy Journey
Workshops
Online and In Person Workshops
“What if it truly doesn't matter what you do, but how you do whatever you do?”
~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer