by Melina | May 3, 2020 | Relationship Anarchy, Self Care
This article was written during the COVID-19 Lockdown. Before you read on, I need to offer acknowledgement that I write under unique circumstances during these lock-down times: I have the privilege to live in an area where there have been few cases, and transmission...
by Melina | Apr 5, 2019 | Intimacy, Monogamy, Non Monogamy
When we hold an expectation of our partner to be everything: best friend, surrogate parent, emotional processor, and the sole person responsible for supplying our life pleasure and happiness, things tend to go awry. We’ve been raised with these expectations, but that...
by Melina | Jan 20, 2019 | Intimacy
There’s more written in polyamorous literature about jealousy and compersion than possibly anything else. And still, the feeling of compersion seems elusive for many. Compersion— a word coined within polyamory but increasingly finding mainstream use— is defined as an...
by Melina | Oct 28, 2018 | Conflict, Conflict Intimacy, Intimacy, Self Care
The Drama Triangle: a model for understanding interpersonal conflict. Again and again I return to this model to understand my own accountability in contributing to conflict, and as a tool for supporting others in navigating conflict. The Drama Triangle is a relational...
by Melina | Aug 29, 2018 | Intimacy, Love
“Enough with the martyrdom, Mel, you need to step out of that.” My friend Chris and I were finishing up a session of peer coaching (because even coaches need coaching from time to time) and he added this as a little aside at the end. We’d been talking about a...
by Melina | Apr 11, 2018 | Intimacy, Self Care
I’ve long believed that the most important relationship we have in our lives is the relationship we have with ourselves. When our relationship with ourselves is poor, that’s when we start to reach out to others in needy, and sometimes codependent ways. We might find...
by Melina | May 7, 2017 | Intimacy, Monogamy, Non Monogamy, Relationship Anarchy
“Boundaries are an essential part of life. They delineate and maintain needed borders and separations, making differentiation possible at every level. Boundaries both contain and preserve the integrity of what they are safeguarding, be that physical, psychological,...
by Melina | Feb 13, 2017 | Intimacy, Love, Relationship Anarchy
Do you ever find yourself in relationships where you want something more, but don’t know how to get there? You are not alone. We all crave more authentic and honest connection. One of the reasons social media became so quickly a staple of daily lives is because...
by Melina | Aug 31, 2016 | Conflict Intimacy, Monogamy, Non Monogamy
“Some day my prince will come Some day we’ll meet again And away to his castle we’ll go To be happy forever I know” ~Some Day My Prince Will Come, by Frank Churchill and Lorey Morey, from the Walt Disney Movie “Snow White”. The alure of the One True Love....
by Melina | May 7, 2016 | Conflict Intimacy, Monogamy, Non Monogamy
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been preparing for a new workshop that I’m offering with two dear friends. Our workshop is all about relating courageously and compassionately, and so I’ve been thinking about what it means to be authentic in relationships, and how...
